Vanilla: Thomas, Crystal, and the Secret Admirer

I had just walked in the Club when Diane started “psssting” me.  I gave her a funny look as I walked over to the Stage where Thomas was talking to Lenny.  One of his rules was that each of the girls had to check in with him the moment they arrived at the Club.  After the other night I planned on being a stickler to every darn rule he’d ever spoken.

Thomas saw me approaching.  He dismissed Lenny while his eyes ran over my body.

“Let me see.”

I held out my arms determined not to flinch as his hands pushed up my sleeves.  The bruises were dark splotches against my pale skin.  His thumb caressed my skin softly in stark contrast to his brutal touch the other night.

“Why do you make me do this to you, Vanilla.”  His blue eyes were laden with pain.  I simply stared at him knowing better than to answer.  “You will dance with a robe, no pasties, and a thong today.”

I squelched the fury rising from my gut.  I had a strict rule that I always wore pasties when I danced.  A long time ago, I had rationalized that pasties gave me a modicum of decency.  Thomas knew I would feel degraded and vulnerable without their coverage for my breasts.  He pulled me closer so that our bodies were brushing.  Over his shoulder, I saw the bartender Crystal throw me a heated glare before a mask of forced disinterest settled upon her face.

“Don’t argue with me.”  My body shivered of its own accord.  I gave him a sharp nod.  I started to back away from him.  He tightened his hold on me inhaling my scent.  “And never wear that perfume again, you smell like a slut.”  I simply nodded.  He’d bought me the damn perfume so I was relieved not to have to smell its cloying scent ever again.

Thomas headed toward the bar slipping up behind Crystal his arms wrapping in her in hug.   She giggled over something he said then she let him lead her towards the back office.  She tossed me a smug smile.  The poor girl didn’t have a clue what she’d gotten herself into with Thomas.

Diane rushed out from behind the bar an envelope grasped in her hand.  She thrust the envelope at me.  I saw the dangerous anger lurking in her eyes.  She hated the way Thomas treated me.  The only reason she kept silent was for Lily’s sake…we both knew that.

“What is it?”

“I don’t know it was in the stack of mail.  I grabbed it before Thomas could see it.”

It was an innocuous white envelope with only my name scrawled across its length.  I heard Diane’s impatient toe tapping.  I rolled my eyes at her.  I carefully tore upon the envelope.  Inside folded perfectly in thirds was a single sheet of paper.  I unfolded the paper.  The typed words on the page stared back at me.

“Well…”  Diane insisted.  The words on the page had touched me so greatly I couldn’t utter a sound.  I handed Diane the piece of paper.

~ Sway ~

But for her circumstances
she would have been … otherwise
No matter …..
she IS resolute

But for her choices
she would have been ….. other wise
No difference ….
she IS tenacious

But for her love
she would be ….. adrift
No regrets …..
she IS grateful

But for her daughter
she would be ….. abandoned
No pain unbearable …..
they ARE luminous

Swaying briefly to their music
but never to their crimes
Swaying eternally to her Destiny
     but never to his vanity
Swaying rapturously to her Life
    but never to his revenge
Swaying purposefully to her Universe
    but never to his vacuum

She

Holds

         ~ Sway ~

For ever love
Forever Love

Diane raised her eyes to mine.  We stood there in silence.  The poem seemed to demand a moment without sound, a time of reflection.  As a poet, the words found their way to a part of my heart that I thought was dead.  I was moved in my soul.

“You, have a secret admirer.” Diane whispered giving my hand a soft squeeze.

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A huge “Thank You” to the Secret Admirer (aka Memoirs of a Dragon) for the beautiful poem.  Please make sure to check out the beautiful poetry on his blog.