domestic violence

Vanilla: Valkyrie, The Blog, and Jade

I still couldn’t help chuckling about the look on Thomas’s face yesterday afternoon when Valkyrie had auditioned. I wish I had taken a picture; his expression had been priceless. I don’t think he’s ever met anyone quite like her. The only person that even comes close to her in attitude is Jasmine.

If we weren’t desperate for Strippers at the Club, I’m not sure if I could have gotten away with hiring her. Although, Thomas had learned to leave the final decision of hiring Strippers to me; I had a good eye.

Val, as she liked to be called, was prompt for our nightly warm up session. I like a person who is prompt; it shows that they have a good work ethic. It became apparent, quickly, that Valkyrie was a stage persona. Val, had a heart of gold. Like many of the other girls, there was a painful past that still haunted her on occasions. Val and Jasmine bumped heads a couple of times, but that was expected since they were similar in many ways. I knew I’d made the right decision in adding Val to our Stripper sisterhood.

I shook my head to concentrate on the task at hand. I looked down at the blank Word document on my screen. It was time to write the next post for my new science fiction blog. I still couldn’t believe I had signed up for my own blog on WordPress. The butterflies in my belly went crazy every time I thought about it.

The story I was writing had been pestering me for the past six months. It had been begging me to write it, but I kept ignoring its voice. I didn’t dare write down a single word for fear that Thomas would read it. All he would do is tell me how untalented I was at writing, yet again. He had convinced me for years that I was a terrible writer. A part of me still believed him. Now, the only difference was I could write it without the fear of him uttering a single derogatory word about my lack of writing skills.

I was in the midst of a pivotal sentence when a soft “bing” announced the arrival of a new e-mail. I was hesitant to stop writing mid-thought. I don’t get many e-mails; in fact, only 3 people have my e-mail address. I think a part of me was hoping that the e-mail would be from Grimm, but it was from an address I didn’t recognize.

Seeing my name in the subject line was the only reason why I opened up the e-mail. It was from Jade. I was beyond excited to hear that she’d made it safely to California. I couldn’t read any more without yelling for Marcus. He’d played a major role in helping Jade to escape. The man was so excited at the news that he scooped me up out of my chair twirling me around with him. Our antics and laughter must have been contagious because pretty soon the other customers were grinning and laughing with us.

It wasn’t until I was settled in my seat again that I noticed that there was an attachment sent with Jade’s e-mail. I clicked it open.

My dearest Vanilla,

My life has been amazing
Since that fateful day
You came into my life
To help show me the way

Breaking the cycle
Of abuse I once revolved
Thinking it was love
That an apology could absolve

For he was like a clock
With his hands he would strike
No matter the time of day
Wherever he would like

But that is all in the past
And I am no longer confined
By make-up to hide the bruises
Or sunglasses to hide behind

Thank you for the strength
And the help you’ve offered me
If I can’t be thankful for what little I have
At least I’m grateful to be free

Love,
Jade

I sat there with tears slipping down my cheeks. Why was it so much easier to help someone else than it was to help myself?

A big “Thank You” to Jade (aka Britt – fairytaleepidemic) for the wonderful poem in today’s episode of MisAdventures. Please make sure to go check out Britt’s blog.
Who is Valkyrie? Who is Marcus? Who is Grimm?  Who is Jade?

Diane: Club Vanilla, CyberCafe, and Coming Clean

It was hot in the club. The air conditioner was barely chugging along and I honestly felt like a lobster in a pot.   When I finished buffing the bar top and putting the last of the glasses away, I looked up to see Vanilla just ending her shift.

It is amazing how much of a “normal woman” she looks like when she is not dressed to the nines in her club attire. A pair of sweatpants with the word “Princess” across the back in curly pink lettering and a long sleeved  t-shirt and she looked like any other mom in this town, except of course, for the fact that she is a knockout.   I would hate her if I didn’t like her so much already.

I asked her to go to the CyberCafe and grab some coffee with me. Thomas was up to his tricks again, not letting her see Lily for the evening. I could see the worry in her face and it really bothered me.

The manager waved to us as we entered the Café, I nodded in return. Vanilla took her customary spot in the very back by the window as I ordered a cup of coffee for me and a Chai latte for her.

“You know, when I first met you I never would have imagined that you do what you do for a living,” I told her, as I took the seat across from her.  She nodded in agreement.

“It wasn’t something I chose for myself”

“What happened? Why did you get involved with the club?”

I could see her measuring me up mentally, probably trying to decide if I was worthy of her trust.  I obviously passed muster because she started talking.

“About eight years ago, I was broke, desperate, and seriously considering becoming a hooker when I ran into Thomas outside Club Vanilla one afternoon.  I hadn’t seen him in over five years.  I must have looked a mess because he hustled me inside the Club.  He told me to clean myself up while he got me some food…”

She paused for a moment taking a sip of her Chai Latte.

 “Gosh Diane, he was so gorgeous and sweet beyond words to me that day.  I fell in love with him all over again.  Anyways, Thomas was the Manager of the Club back then.  When I told him I needed a job he hired me on the spot.  He said there was no way in hell he was letting me be a hooker.   And that’s the day that I began my illustrious career as a Stripper.”

“Does anything ever feel…off about that place to you?”

 “You mean besides the fact that Thomas is banging most of the Strippers and Bartenders?”

I simply nodded as I watched a fleeting wave of pain cross over her face.  Vanilla had obviously loved Thomas at one point.  I wondered if it was hard for her to see him flaunting all his girls in her face every day.

“I think a lot of odd things go on at the Club.  I’ve learned the hard way to keep my mouth shut.”

“I don’t mean to overstep my bounds here, but I can’t help but notice some of the new recruits seem kind of young. Do you think Thomas knows?”

“I hope not!  And yes, I’ve noticed that too…like Sophie.  When that lady showed up the other day with her picture I thought I was going to vomit.  I’m scared to ask Thomas what happened to Sophie.”

“Has he ever hurt you? Or threatened to hurt you?”

I watched as she self-consciously tugged her long shirt sleeves farther down her arms.  Without looking me in the eye she nodded quickly.  I wanted to kill Thomas at that moment.

“If I tell you something, will you keep it just between us, no matter what?”

She nodded again.

“I am not who you think I am. I’m here to cover a story about the underground lifestyle of strip clubs and the abuse women suffer at the hands of men like…Thomas.”

I think I knocked her speechless because she just sat there staring at me not saying a single word…

Another great episode by Diane Winters (aka Ionia Martin).  Check out Ionia here and here
Who is Sophie?  Who is Thomas?

Vanilla: Thomas, Crystal, and the Secret Admirer

I had just walked in the Club when Diane started “psssting” me.  I gave her a funny look as I walked over to the Stage where Thomas was talking to Lenny.  One of his rules was that each of the girls had to check in with him the moment they arrived at the Club.  After the other night I planned on being a stickler to every darn rule he’d ever spoken.

Thomas saw me approaching.  He dismissed Lenny while his eyes ran over my body.

“Let me see.”

I held out my arms determined not to flinch as his hands pushed up my sleeves.  The bruises were dark splotches against my pale skin.  His thumb caressed my skin softly in stark contrast to his brutal touch the other night.

“Why do you make me do this to you, Vanilla.”  His blue eyes were laden with pain.  I simply stared at him knowing better than to answer.  “You will dance with a robe, no pasties, and a thong today.”

I squelched the fury rising from my gut.  I had a strict rule that I always wore pasties when I danced.  A long time ago, I had rationalized that pasties gave me a modicum of decency.  Thomas knew I would feel degraded and vulnerable without their coverage for my breasts.  He pulled me closer so that our bodies were brushing.  Over his shoulder, I saw the bartender Crystal throw me a heated glare before a mask of forced disinterest settled upon her face.

“Don’t argue with me.”  My body shivered of its own accord.  I gave him a sharp nod.  I started to back away from him.  He tightened his hold on me inhaling my scent.  “And never wear that perfume again, you smell like a slut.”  I simply nodded.  He’d bought me the damn perfume so I was relieved not to have to smell its cloying scent ever again.

Thomas headed toward the bar slipping up behind Crystal his arms wrapping in her in hug.   She giggled over something he said then she let him lead her towards the back office.  She tossed me a smug smile.  The poor girl didn’t have a clue what she’d gotten herself into with Thomas.

Diane rushed out from behind the bar an envelope grasped in her hand.  She thrust the envelope at me.  I saw the dangerous anger lurking in her eyes.  She hated the way Thomas treated me.  The only reason she kept silent was for Lily’s sake…we both knew that.

“What is it?”

“I don’t know it was in the stack of mail.  I grabbed it before Thomas could see it.”

It was an innocuous white envelope with only my name scrawled across its length.  I heard Diane’s impatient toe tapping.  I rolled my eyes at her.  I carefully tore upon the envelope.  Inside folded perfectly in thirds was a single sheet of paper.  I unfolded the paper.  The typed words on the page stared back at me.

“Well…”  Diane insisted.  The words on the page had touched me so greatly I couldn’t utter a sound.  I handed Diane the piece of paper.

~ Sway ~

But for her circumstances
she would have been … otherwise
No matter …..
she IS resolute

But for her choices
she would have been ….. other wise
No difference ….
she IS tenacious

But for her love
she would be ….. adrift
No regrets …..
she IS grateful

But for her daughter
she would be ….. abandoned
No pain unbearable …..
they ARE luminous

Swaying briefly to their music
but never to their crimes
Swaying eternally to her Destiny
     but never to his vanity
Swaying rapturously to her Life
    but never to his revenge
Swaying purposefully to her Universe
    but never to his vacuum

She

Holds

         ~ Sway ~

For ever love
Forever Love

Diane raised her eyes to mine.  We stood there in silence.  The poem seemed to demand a moment without sound, a time of reflection.  As a poet, the words found their way to a part of my heart that I thought was dead.  I was moved in my soul.

“You, have a secret admirer.” Diane whispered giving my hand a soft squeeze.

A huge “Thank You” to the Secret Admirer (aka Memoirs of a Dragon) for the beautiful poem.  Please make sure to check out the beautiful poetry on his blog.

Vanilla: Bruised Not Broken

I’m not sure how long I’d been staring at the computer screen, but I know some time had passed.  My entire body was aching today.  I self-consciously tugged my long-sleeve shirt down again.  I knew that Marcus was watching me out of the corner of his eye.  I’d managed to avoid eye contact with him ever since he’d surprised me a few minutes after I’d sat down in my usual spot.

At that point, I hadn’t had time to cover the bruises that were showing where my shirt had ridden up on my arms.  Marcus asked me what the hell had happened.  I couldn’t find the words to answer him.  I doubted he wanted to hear a full confession of the horrific Saturday evening I’d had.  So, I did what now comes naturally, I lied.

The last couple of days had taken their toll on me, mind and body.  Rescuing Jade had set off a chain of unexpected events.  I didn’t regret helping her for one second, but there were always consequences to my actions when it came to Thomas.  The good news is that Carlos had come through for Jade in a big way.  She was headed across the country with a new identity.  Jade had promised to contact me via email when she got settled in California.

My mind drifted back to the meeting with Pastor Elisha in the Uptown Hotel.  When I’d opened the door I was surprised to see that she had her hands full of food for all of us.  The Pastor had some really good ideas for helping Jade, and other women, get out of domestic violence situations.  I felt that familiar tug on my heart as she talked of wanting to set up a program to help abused partners.  That tug was my heart’s early warning signal that I was about to get deeply involved with someone or something.

I was pleasantly surprised how easy it was to talk to Pastor Elisha.  Thankfully, she wasn’t one of those people who tried to shove Jesus down your throat.  She had no qualms about bringing up His Name in conversation, but she didn’t condemn Jade or me.  Honestly, I’m not sure where I stand with the whole God thing.  And I’m not really sure a person like me should even sully His reputation by saying His Name out loud.

My getting Jade settled on a bus, headed out of town, had made me late getting back to the club on Saturday evening.  Unfortunately, I wasn’t late enough to miss Thomas’s blatant flirting with his new flavor of the month, Crystal, the bartender.  I wonder if he even sees the irony in the way his hands caressed her bruises making sure she was alright, but then only hours later those same hands left my body covered with bruises?  I doubt it!

He was normally more careful about leaving marks on my skin, especially in places that would be viewable when I stripped.  This time he was convinced that I’d been with another man the night I stayed with Jade in the hotel.  No amount of promises, that I hadn’t been with a man, deterred him from that notion.  He was never going to believe that I hadn’t been with a man since that night five years ago. His eyes warned me of what was to come.  Yet, I was still shocked by the hatred with which he claimed me as his property.

That fact that Lily was down the hall sleeping forced me to suffer his attack in silence.  My sweet Lily…my hope… for her, I can endure anything that Thomas dishes out.

He WILL NOT break me!

Who is Marcus?  Who is Jade?  Who is Pastor Elisha?  Who is Crystal?  Who is Thomas?

Pastor Elisha: Uptown Hotel, Vanilla, and Jade

In the morning, I quickly dressed and headed into town.  I couldn’t get the abused girl out of my head, but even more, Sophie. Where could she be?  It would break my heart if she ended up in a situation like this.  I stopped at the McDonalds on the corner and ordered some breakfast and coffee for three, then I pulled into the parking lot of the hotel.  I parked in the back in front of room 1034. I grabbed my purse, got out of the car and walked to the door with my offering in hand.

“Lord, please help me find the right words and give me wisdom in this situation.” I prayed before knocking on the door.  I saw the curtains barely move and the locks clicking open.

“Thanks for coming, Pastor Elisha.  Jade is still sound asleep.”  Vanilla whispered.  She grabbed the drink carrier with the three coffees from my hand and smiled.

“You are welcome. I thought you girls might be hungry.”

“Come to think of it, I am starving.  That coffee smells wonderful, thanks.”

We sat at the small table and chairs near the window as far from Jade as possible to not wake her.  I couldn’t help staring at the small girl on the bed, her right eye almost swollen shut and the bruising on her cheek looking very angry.  I sighed and then sat down, giving Vanilla my full attention. Vanilla was such a pretty girl and I hated that she was working at the club, but I also hoped that eventually, she will be able to get out as well.  I know it is not what God wants for her or any of those girls.  I can only pray that He uses me to help give them hope and the realization they can do anything they put their minds to and that He loves them.  Jesus doesn’t condemn them and neither do I.

“Then the best thing we can do is find her a new place to live, preferably in another state.  A new identity would be great, too.  I have been working with an ex-military friend of ours who is now a private investigator and he is going to help with these types of things, but we haven’t had time to really get anything set up.  I’m afraid it might be too dangerous from what you have said to wait too long to get her out of here.”  I explained.

I glanced over to where Jade was laying as a moan escaped her lips when she turned over and the right side of her face landed on the pillow. My heart ached for this poor girl.  I was so grateful that Vanilla was willing to contact me, I just wish I were better prepared.  This is exactly the reason I have been trying to set up some type of program to get women away from their abusive partners.  So many of our runaway girls have come from abusive homes, or already been abused, but I have vowed to get them healed and healthy.  I truly want to help women like Vanilla and anyone who is being hurt who wants out.

“Well, I do have a friend, Carlos, who owes me a favor and has people that can get it done.  He might be able to help us out this time since we really don’t have time to waste.  I tried to call him while I was waiting for you but it went straight to voice mail. I am just waiting to hear back from him.” Vanilla said.  “And thanks for your ideas, I was so caught up in getting her out of immediate danger and cleaned up that I hadn’t thought of our next move.”

“Well, how about we eat our breakfast and you can tell me a little about yourself while we wait.” I said as I started unloading the goodies onto the table.

Pastor Elisha: Sophie, Uptown Hotel, and Jade

I looked everywhere I could think to try and find Sophie.  Nobody claimed to have see her anywhere in town.  I checked at the CyberCafé, the local fast food joints and even stopped off at  Club Vanilla, but to no avail.  The bouncer that was at the door was friendly enough, he hates when I stand in the parking lot and talk to the girls because his boss gets a bit mad. He has always been nice to me though, and keeps an eye out when I am there.   He assured me that he hadn’t seen the young girl since he’d gotten to the club that evening.

Frustrated and tired, I headed back to the church.  David and I discussed whether we should go to the police and decided to give it another day to see if she showed up. After some serous prayer and intercession, I went to bed with a heavy heart.  I didn’t feel peace, but I stood firm on the belief she was fine and God had it all under control.

I awoke to the sound of my cell going off.  I thought I was dreaming at first, then realized it was my phone.  I reached over and grabbed it off the nightstand.  I didn’t recognize the number, but answered it anyway.

“Hello?” I asked.

“Pastor Elisha. I’m not sure if you will remember me, but my name’s Vanilla.”

“I remember you, Vanilla.” I said.  At the sound of her voice and realizing who it was, I sat up and shook my head to clear the sleepy haze.

“I need your help, please.”

She sounded worried.  I stood up and started to head into the bathroom, as not to wake up David.

 “A girl I know, Jade, has been beaten up pretty badly by her boyfriend.  I need to try and get her out of here without him finding out.  I am afraid next time, she won’t survive it.  I know he is looking for her already.  I have her with me at the Uptown Hotel for now.” Vanilla said and paused.

“What can I do?  We can probably sneak her into ‘Hearts of Hope’ until she heals, but that isn’t going to solve the abusive boyfriend problem.   If she is able to travel, it would be best to get her out of town.  Is she willing to get out of the situation and away from the boyfriend?” I asked.  I was concerned she might be one of the women that always go back to the abuser because they have been programmed to believe it was their fault they are beat senseless, and they can’t survive without their abuser.

“She is.  And if she isn’t, she will be.  This isn’t the first time, but this is definitely the worst and I swear it will be the last.  Can you meet me this morning at the hotel to help me figure this out?

I agreed to meet Vanilla at the Uptown Hotel in the morning.  I left the bathroom and headed to the living room.  I decided the next several minutes would be best spent in prayer for this poor young girl, including favor and wisdom for what we needed to accomplish in the morning.

About forty minutes later, I heard the water at the kitchen sink turn on.  I finished my prayer with a great sense of peace and looked up to see David leaning against the doorjamb, smiling.

“Well, whatever that call was about, the devil has been put on notice!” he said as he walked over and gave me a kiss.

“I certainly hope so.  He is working overtime in this city, for sure.”

Thank you to Pastor Elisha (aka Wyndy Dee) for writing this episode of the MisAdventures of Vanilla.  Please click here to visit Wyndy’s blog.
Who is Sophie?  Who is Jade?

Vanilla: Jade, Uptown Hotel, and Pastor Elisha

I kept looking at my watch.  Yes, I was impatient.  I will be the first person to admit that patience is not one of my stronger virtues.  I looked over at the young girl sound asleep on the hotel bed.  The bruises on her face marred her incredible beauty.  Silky strands of raven hair spread across the two pillows on the bed.  She was petite, yet even in her sleep there was a quiet strength about her.

I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall.  I had brought Jade to this hotel in the upper part of town because I believed that her boyfriend wouldn’t look for her here.  So, far, my assumption seemed to have been correct.  We’d had an uneventful night.

After dropping Jasmine off for her shift at Club Vanilla, Jade and I had headed uptown.  We stopped at the CyberCafé to get her cleaned up before going to the hotel.  Marcus, the manager, had let us in to use the washroom located off the storeroom.  Thanks to my adroit makeup skills, we were able to hide 90 percent of the physical damage Jade’s boyfriend had inflicted upon her.  When we left the Café, Marcus handed Jade an envelope of cash then gave her a gentle bear hug telling her to be safe.  The man had a heart of gold.

Once we were settled into the hotel room, I racked my brain for some sort of solution to the dilemma of what to do with Jade.  I was in desperate need of another brain, preferably one that was functioning on all cylinders, unlike my own.  Only one person came to mind.  I ignored my thoughts the first three times my mind brought her up.

“Fine darn it!” I finally conceded.  I dumped out the contents of my purse to locate the business card that I’d haphazardly thrown in there the other evening.  I finally found it stuck to a perfume sample of Dolce & Gabbana Blue.  I stared at the card for a long time.  I didn’t want to make this call.  More than anything I didn’t want to make this call.

Then I’d looked over at Jade lying curled up in a fetal position sleeping.  And I knew that I didn’t have a choice, but to make the call.  I took the hotel phone off its hook.  Dialed the prerequisite #9 then punched in the cell phone number listed on the card.  Looking at my watch, I realized with a start that it was after midnight.  I was just about to slam the phone back onto its cradle when a sleepy feminine voice whispered, “Hello?”

I sat there silently debating whether to respond.  I glanced at Jade again.  I had to respond.

“Pastor Elisha.  I’m not sure if you will remember me, but my name’s Vanilla.”

“I remember you, Vanilla.”

“I need your help, please.”

Pastor Elisha had agreed to come to the hotel in the morning to meet with Jade and me.  I had another hour of waiting for a woman of God to come to talk to me.  The likes of me talking to a godly woman seemed almost sacrilegious.  But she’d seemed completely unperturbed to have a stripper calling her in the middle of the night asking for help.

Go figure…

Vanilla: The Club, Thomas, and Marcus

I heard the ruckus as I headed down the stairs. My eyes were drawn back to the main bar where a pretty red headed bartender was the center of attention. Dressed in a tight corset she was making love to the liquor bottles in her hands. The crowd was eating up her seductive teasing.

Walking slowly down the stairs my eyes scanned the bar for Thomas’s jet black hair. There was not a sign of him anywhere which was extremely unusual for a Saturday evening.

“One, two, three, four…” That was as far as I made it before Thomas’s bellowing voice silenced the crowd’s cacophony of noise. He turned on the red head telling her in no uncertain terms that if she wanted to dance then she needed to get up on stage. I could tell by the look in her eyes that she was a stubborn one not easily controlled.

My plan was to duck out the side door avoiding any contact with Thomas. No such luck, his longer stride made his arrival to the door much faster than mine. He reached towards me causing me to instinctively flinch.

“Don’t do that.”

“It’s kind of hard not to, Thomas.”

He blew out a rush of air. Showing me both of his hands he reached out to tuck a strand of my hair behind my ear. His thumb lingered against my cheek longer than was comfortable. I reached up to brush his thumb away.

“Don’t.”

I stood stock still not sure whether to be scared or disgusted. He’s deep blue eyes studied my face. I saw the desire flame in his eyes. I held my breath. I knew the instant that his desire turned to anger at my lack of response.

“Go! Get the hell out of my sight.” He slammed the side door behind me barely missing my right foot.

I walked about four feet before I had to steady myself against the wall of the club I was shaking so hard. I finally got my nerves under control enough to walk down the alley to the main street. I headed to the CyberCafe which was open 24 hours a day on the weekends.

It was blissfully quiet when I walked in off the street. The Café was relatively empty with only two other customers both seated near the front window. I headed back towards my usual computer in the far right hand corner. I laid my purse on the chair while I hunched over the keyboard to sign in. Straightening I headed to the coffee bar. The Manager, Marcus, was nowhere in sight. I asked the people at the front if they’d seen Marcus. They informed me he’d gone back in the back about 20 minutes ago.

My brow furrowed. I called out his name. Nothing. I tried one more time. Still nothing. So, I headed around the bar to the door leading to the back. I knocked. Nothing. I cracked open the door calling out his name. Still nothing. I was beginning to become a tad concerned. I walked into the back. As I walked further into the back of the store I heard hushed voices and a woman crying. I picked up my step hurrying towards the sound.

I rounded the corner faster than anticipated running smack dab into Marcus muscular back.

“Vanilla!”

“Marcus…” I peered around his large frame to get a clearer view of the beautiful young woman with mascara stained cheeks. Her blackened eye spoke volumes.

“Vanilla…Jade. Jade….Vanilla.” We smiled at each other.

“Jade needed some help.” I could hear the restrained anger in Marcus’s voice. I laid my hand on his forearm in understanding.

“Enough said. It was nice to meet you Jade. You can trust him.”

I stood on tiptoe to give Marcus a kiss on the cheek. I swear it made him blush.

“The Journal of Wall Grimm” 93 Grimm’s Stupid Friends, Grimm-like Stealth, & Vanilla K

Please check out the journal entry of Wall Grimm today. He did a top notch job of pulling me out of the bowels of obscurity to introduce me to the WordPress world. I am a mom, activist, and stripper who has laid claim to ” The MisAdventures of Vanilla” blog as my home base. Please join me as I take you on a journaling journey. Thank you again Wall Grimm.

Click HERE to directly link to Grimm’s post about me.  And keep your eyes peeled because I’m going to be writing about our night together…from my perspective…very soon.

♥ Vanilla